facebook toolbar for firefox

this is my favorite new software toy EVER! i get little messages as everyone updates their status, sends me a message, notification, posts a picture. it's loverly. and i get to view everyone's status in my "facebook friends sidebar".

between that and the updates in my blogroll, i can actually manage to keep up with people! AND i even get inspired now and then to prattle on about myself, too! (aren't you lucky?)

hmm, was going to add a random pic, but the only new one i have that isn't all blurry is a pic i took of khalil's newest and best diaper rash. it's very rashy. ick. but i won't put you through that.

is this how it's going to be from now on?

so now that i'm 30, it seems i get bad news from friends left and right.

someone's getting divorced...
someone's got cancer...
someone's child has died...

i've got about 4 friends going thru divorces right now (that i know of)...
two of my friends have been diagnosed with or had remissions of cancer this week...
the best friend of a friend of mine lost his baby during birth because of a freak happenstance...

so once you turn 30, do you all of a sudden have to deal with the crap you were able to avoid brushing up against for the previous 29 years???

damn, it's depressing. even worse when you realize you've got all your own shit to deal with and extend support to those around you at the same time.

i heart barack

need i say more?

i can't freaking wait till nov 4. then jan 20.

sing along with me: "all i want for christmas is a legitimate administration..."

idle amusement

i happened to get distracted tonight by mozilla firefox add-ons. i'm currently amusing myself with the "colorful tabs 3.3" utility. it's sad, really. i should be sleeping. yet i can't help but keep opening new browser tabs to see what color it generates. man, i need a hobby. or at least some sleep.

khary's on youtube, too

just a cute video

i'm abusing privileges at youtube. can you blame me???

Sitting up??? at 4 months!

well, 6 days short of 5 months, but still freakishly early imo. yesterday (aug 22 for those marking in your baby books...er, can i have a copy of it if you got one?) i'm officially calling it "sitting up." for at least 5 minutes my baby khalil sat up by himself, gnawing on toes & toys, without falling over. he even righted himself when he was tipping. what a coordinated wee one he is. here's proof he was doing it again today:


meanwhile, daddy washed the car & khary washed his bike.

sensory processing disorder

khary does lots of little things that just constantly grate on the nerves of his mama and daddy. in talking with some other mamas of, er, spirited, children, i got to thinking that he has sensory issues. lo and behold, i look at some checklists & suffice it to say mama and daddy need to be more understanding! it's changed my perspective and expectations & we're getting along much better this past week. i've been providing him with acceptable outlets for all that sensory stimulation he was already seeking out in sometimes-less-than-appropriate ways. we have a referral to children's mercy's occupational health clinic for an assessment; i think i'm going to call later this week and hound them about getting an appointment. khalil's diagnostic tests are wednesday morning, so scheduling availability may depend on what they show and what the follow-up needs to be for him.

and the areas into which khary's behaviors fell are tactile hyposensitivity/sensory seeking and proprioceptive dysfunction. to satisfy the former, he's constantly playing in dirt, eating it, putting other things in his mouth, touching anything and everything and bouncing off the walls. and the latter is perfectly characterized by his constant state of crashes and bruises and general inability to know where he is in space (which is the definition of proprioceptive dysfunction). i know these can by "typical" of 3yo boys, but his tendencies are extreme and really do get in the way of his functioning at times in many settings. hopefully we can get some therapies and strategies in place before it gets too cold to play outside all the time!

mama needs a weekend, too!

blech, so dawud worked a couple hours both days this weekend. he was working from home, so i had to keep the boys away, meaning *i* worked all weekend, too. saturday was wonderful: a fingerpainting dance party in gorgeous weather at a friend's house nearby, then a family bday party for dawud's uncle murad. but sunday sucked donkey balls. 4 1/2 hours with cranky khalil and waaaay grumpy khary. when i got home, dawud was sleeping, the house was still wrecked, and i was less than happy. house is now presentable, but it's gonna take days to get enough laundry done so i have something decent to wear. grrr. apparently i'm still not over it.


hallalah saves the day by removing the flaming meat & suffers only singed arm hair in the process

i did, however, shave for the first time in about 3 1/2 months tonight, thanks to the razor and refill freebies dawud got for me at the race for the cure. it was work, boy! :lol: we'll see if i keep it up. i'm just conflicted about shaving and makeup and such. as a feminist, it seems ridiculous to adhere to unrealistic standards of beauty. but i like having clean-shaven legs and underarms, darnit! and occasionally like to wear makeup. and it'd be nice if i could drop about 55 lbs right now, while i'm at it. ;)

a day of boobs

a little late posting it, but last sunday (august 10) was the kc race for the cure. dawud ran in the 5k as always, and khary, khalil and i walked around the sponsor booths nabbing samples. after we met up with daddy, we headed over to the kids' area. khary met some firefighters in their cherrypicker (dawud had gone to h.s with one of the guys!), then he had a blast with the parachute play, played with some bubbles, then got his face painted.

then we went to church, then to big mama's church's farewell dinner for dawud's cousin aisha, then we were going to go to the LLL fundraiser at Wonderscope. we decided to go play at antioch park (for free) instead & had a lot of fun.

holy schmoly--i went running!!

i cannot even remember the last time i ran. well over a year ago, since a year ago i was pregnant. geez, no wonder i've felt cruddy--the thing i like to do for myself the most was something i felt prohibited from doing.

at the ppd chat tonight, the question was posed, "if you could do one thing TOTALLY ALONE and JUST FOR YOURSELF what would it be?" i didn't even have to think about it--running. so when i got home, i did just that. 1.4 miles in 29 minutes, which may have set a record for slowest run ever, but i did it, and i didn't stop once.

of course, now i have a headache and my calves are cramping like a mofo.... :P



also (i'm recording it here, see?) i had two mini-epiphanies at the chat. first, that i haven't had one on one playtime with just khary at all. i thought i had, but really, i wasn't playing with him, so that doesn't count. at all, as in 4+ months. :( and second, that i need to "fake it till i make it" when i'm having a bad day because he feeds of my energy and i get mad, and then we spiral out of control, me in a rage and him in a bundle of impotence and frustration. i think exercise and meditation would be great for getting me to that zen place...and running is both for me.

light at the end of the tunnel

children's mercy urgent care called back with the 36-hour test results of the 2nd blood culture...nothing is showing up at all so far. so the 1st culture was almost certainly contaminated. they also said the urine culture responded well to the abx we're using, so we don't need a different one.

khalil's been fever-free for about 36 hours now, and no tylenol for over 24h. yay!! he's a totally different baby--back to normal, thank goodness. he's sleeping a lot, but he's got a lot to heal yet.

dr greenwood scheduled his renal ultrasound and vcug test already; going to cms for those on aug 20. part of me hopes they come back negative, of course, but i kinda want the vcug to show a valve problem so we have an explanation and it can be easily fixed.

totally ot, but i also found out greenwood can do my plantar's wart excision AND my ingrown toenail fix himself in his office, no podiatrist needed. woot! hmm, forgot to ask about getting my own blood draw to follow up on the anemia and thyroid function tests, though. (see? now that i have it written out, i'll remember. :P )

8/23 update:
had the diagnostic tests wednesday--a renal ultrasound and vcug (another name for an evil test performed with a catheter). both came back normal--no physical abnormalities and no uretal reflux. both good and bad, as i said before. plus the poor guy got a horrible yeasty diaper rash after being on all those antibiotics. but it's better now, thank goodness.

hey, a hospital-free night!

no news yet. i called them & the nurse i talked to asked the lab & they told her that they wouldn't have anything till tomorrow. i told her what the deal was, that it was supposed to be 24h, not 48, just to see if the blood cultured *anything*, but she couldn't help me.

BUT khalil appears worlds better now!! he and i took a loooong afternoon nap & when he woke from it he had zero fever & was cooing and energetic. has been like that all night. well, now i think he's having tummy upset from the abx, but i'll take that anyday over systemic infection!

we have an appt with greenwood tomorrow, at which i will hound him about kidney function tests at cmh.

thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers. i know we're not out of the woods yet, but i'm pretty certain we're on our way.

to hospital, to hospital, & back again

new update:
they found bacteria in his blood sample, indicating he has sepsis. they asked us to come back to cmsuc tonight for another blood draw to double-check the results from last night's sample. since he had the iv abx last night plus the keflex we started today, plus his fever being not as high (close to 102 still, tho), they are comfortable waiting for the results, which will be tomorrow evening/night. of course if he gets worse, we bring him in immediately. greenwood's out of the office tomorrow, so i guess i'll be seeing him on tuesday instead (unless it gets worse before then). poor baby had another rough time getting stuck for the blood draw. i'm starting to get pissed that they didn't just admit him last night with what must be a kidney infection so all the testing and everything would be done already. i'm really really uncomfortable with the "wait and see" when the possibility that it's actually sepsis is 50% and we're just fucking wasting time. i mean, if it is sepsis, the bacteria colonizing his blood may even be resistant to cephalosporins/keflex, anyway, so shouldn't he at least be monitored in case he takes a bad turn?!

worse than the sickies :(

went to children's mercy south urgent care this evening because khalil's temp spiked to 105.9 and didn't come down past 102.3 an hour after giving motrin. doc was worried b/c there was no obvious infection that would cause that high of a fever, so ordered blood tests and a urine cath. came back with HIGH white count and the urine showed an active infection despite being virtually clear, which apparently means the bacteria is going like gangbusters. had iv abx (rocephin) and start oral keflex tomorrow night.

getting the iv line was nightmarish, tho--had to do it twice. :'( surprisingly, the catheter wasn't that bad, though.

have to call greenwood monday first thing & arrange a renal ultrasound and tests for urinary reflux.

and to top it off...dawud said that khary puked tonight. yay.

case of the sickies

khalil officially has his first illness. (yes, i am "forgetting" the kidney infxn at 7w old.) poor little guy is a ball of snot, slobber & just is the picture of pathetic. :( he couldn't sleep bc the fever got up there--102.2--but is knocked out for the time being, thanks to some motrin.

...man, that kid can SCREAM!!!