My FIRST birth story

so i wrote this 3 years ago for my local parenting message board...khary was about to turn 2.

tonight he's about to turn 5. FIVE years old. and he's such a little man. oh, how i heart that kid!

here goes...it's been 2 years, so i might have to come back and edit about a billion times as i remember other stuff...

at the beginning of my 3rd trimester, my kc doc (a friend of mine prior to that) and i decided our philosophies were too divergent, and we went our separate ways. that meant i went to the freestanding birth center in columbia, mo. yes, it was 2 hours away, but i knew a woman who drove almost as far from blue springs to olathe med ctr, and surely 2 hrs in early labor wouldn't be such a big deal because first labors are supposed to last like 12 hrs, anyway, right? the doctor who founded the clinic is devoted to midwifery AND she was on our preferred provider list for our insurance. we didn't even write a birth plan because their protocol was everything we wanted (or didn't want ) anyway, such as dh catching baby.

my edd was march 27, 2005. that was easter sunday. since my mom had 10-month pregnancies w/ my brother and me, i wasn't going to hold my breath for anything before mid-april. i was put on bedrest 5 weeks before my edd because of really intense braxton hicks contractions. so i lay in bed, eating my cashews and almonds and drinking my gallon upon gallon of water while reading all those pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding books i had bought/borrowed from the library. anyway, at my 38 week prenatal, i was upgraded to light house (ar)rest for the "last 2 weeks" of my pregnancy. i declined the pelvic exam, as i didn't see a point of it, so i have no idea how dilated/effaced i was at 38 weeks. that was a monday, the 14th.

next two weeks go by, without much ado. i took a bellydancing class at my church on march 21, though, and loved it. i could tell bean had dropped, but everything was uneventful. i was leaking colostrum at night, but that was the only other weird-ish thing i can remember.

dh and i are rabid sports fans, and the final four games were on the afternoon/evening of my edd, sunday, the 27th. we watched those, headed to the kitchen to get something to eat & decided to eat the chipotle burritos we had frozen to eat as early labor food...it was our edd, after all, and we could just get some more the next day and freeze that for the big event. that was our thinking. i recall sitting down at the counter & feeling a cramp. i looked at the clock, and it said 8:15 exactly. didn't think much of it & didn't tell dh till the second one came 5 mins later. "hon, i just had a contraction. second one in 5 minutes." we were nonchalantly going about our business because we were told in our bradley class that we should only time them once every hour so we didn't. they seemed close together, but we figured they'd space out again. we even took a hot shower together, since it's supposed to relax you and can stop labor if it's not the real thing. instead, though, i had like 3 ctx in the shower, all very strong. so we called the doc.

doc said it sounded like we had lots of time still; after all, this was my first baby. we could take a nap & drive to the bc or drive there and nap. she had the mw we chose to assist go ahead and start getting the bc ready for us, either way. dh sleeps like the dead, so we opted to drive there first, and then he could nap. GOOD FREAKING THING!!

also a good freaking thing we had our volvo s60-r (r for racing specs; very important here). i think we left at 11pm for columbia. i called my mom and gave her the heads-up that she should leave for columbia first thing in the am (she wanted to get thru st louis before morning rush hour). i remember driving on 87th street with its incessant bumps and potholes and wondering if i could get all the way to columbia. dh and i agreed that he'd drive only 80mph; there was no reason to get a ticket or get into an accident; i had time, right? after all, it was my first baby. we pulled over at oak grove, i think, because my back felt like i had a pinched nerve & just needed to stretch. only there was no way to stretch it out. i was very grumpy about having to sit for another hour and a half w/ my back hurting like that.

i remember driving through the middle of nowhere that's east of concordia and asking dawud how far we were. "about halfway" "that's not good enough. go faster" "how fast do you want me to go?" "at least 100. it's dry, clear & straight. just GO" so we covered the last part of that trip at 110mph. (i felt safe cause we were in a volvo ) my contractions were getting stronger & i had to hold on to the "oh shit handle" and i really got to practice my bradley method breathing! i told dawud "if this is what early labor feels like, what the hell does hard labor feel like?! i totally understand why people would get epidurals now!" a few more really hard ctx later, and blissfully we passed boonville. i feel like i'm going to throw up, and even gag a few times. all of a sudden, just before the missouri river bridge, i have a MASSIVE ctx that lasts a loooong time, i'm trying to groan through it but end up screaming anyway, and i felt a trickle. yes, transition while driving 110mph on i-70 in the middle of the night. i do not recommend it.

it's probably worth mentioning here that we had a chux pad on the car seat and i had a depends on *just in case* my water broke in the car. we didn't want to clean that up, and especially not on the leather seats w/ seat heaters. "oh my god, dawud. i think my water just broke." "it's okay, we're going to get there. it's going to be fine." i think we went 120mph at that point. the contractions after transition were much harder to keep on top of; i was just trying NOT to push for the next 15-20 minutes. it was getting tough to do. as we exited for columbia, we called the bc and told them my water broke & we were in hard labor. apparently the doc still thought we had tons of time...she still wasn't at the bc. she called the mw there & relayed our situation.

as we got to the bc, i got out of the car & immediately had to sit on the toilet. as i did, i had another big ctx, a huge gush of amniotic fluid & had to push. mw checked me and said i was fine. i made her and dh take my pants off cause i couldn't possibly bend down. i asked her to please fill the tub up (we were planning a waterbirth). had another ctx about a minute later, had to push more. she checked again & said to get on the bed immediately. dawud was just standing watching & she told him he needed to wash his hands--now. as the water was running in the background, she applied a warm compress to my perineum, and i had another huge ctx. i was trying to stay low and moaning, but i was able only to utter a primal scream for the rest of my labor. for some reason the mw said i was going to have to get on all fours, and i must have looked at her like she had 3 heads or something. i said no & luckily had another pushing ctx at that moment. bean was crowning. i reached down to touch the head & started to cry from joy. another pushing ctx & then i had to puff to let her push the lip of cervix away & then i couldn't hold back anymore. the head was out at the next ctx, and then the body was born with the next push. dawud caught our baby & we were elated together. our baby was born at 1:15am monday, march 28, 2005. he put the baby on my tummy (baby couldn't nurse while still attached b/c the cord was pulling on me). i had to look to see, and we had a boy!!! the mw did his apgar w/ him in my arms & he was a 9. (10 at 5 mins later). after the cord stopped pulsing, she tied it w/ a piece of cotton string. then she made sure he was latched onto my breast, and she left the room to let us bond with him on our own.

maybe 30 mins later, the doc came in w/ her & checked me & gave the sweetest welcome to our beautiful, new baby boy. only then did she weigh and measure him. 7lbs, 7oz. she helped me get him latched onto my other (flat) nipple & we talked & she told me how to make sure he was nursing. i birthed the placenta about 15 mins later (45 min after baby). about that time, the tub was full enough & baby & mommy took our first bath together. i stayed in the tub while the mw swaddled him & doc listened to heart & lungs & then daddy held him.

i couldn't sleep at all that night. i just stared and stared at my beautiful boy lying next to me on the bed. my mom got there about 9am. my dad and stepmom even came up from springfield to see us after lunch. we left for home at 6pm monday, less than 18 hours after we arrived at the bc. (it was also the day i had scheduled my next prenatal appt and my free prenatal massage, ironically enough. )

we named him about a week later. khary buatte hasam.

his birth was perfect. he is perfect. i can't wait to do it again.